i miss every1...i miss weitien miss xinyan miss mitch...miss mi sec. sch...miss mi friends fr north to south east to west...

i realli realli miss u guys alot...

10:59 PM

jus came back fr trainin...tired....muscle ache all over...but frankly speakin...mi heart aches more...seem to hv done sth wrong again...nth is goin rite...i don koe wat to do next...when i called mi friend...he onli say maybe u should apologise...but i don even koe wat i've done wrong...i suck...i don koe wat i should do...maybe i should take another alternative...i felt so sad jus now i called weitien...i told her wat happened but i started cryin also...so shameful of me...i feel so weak...like a weaklin hu can't even control her own emotions...but i m always so glad tt no matter wat...they r always there for mi...eventhough she didn' help much...eventhough i still feel super duper sad...but at least i feel assured tt they r there for mi...
all of a sudden i jus have e urge to come here n crap...i thought i had alot to say...but when i reach this page...i got stuck...i don koe how to phrase mi feelins into e blog...don koe wat to start with...don koe ever since when...this place feel like e place where i come here n grumble...when i feel loneli n helpless without any1...i always think of mi blog...so sad rite...maybe being e captain is jus not mi cup of tea...after all A'div is totalli diff. fr B' n C' div...maybe angela would hv been more suitable than i m...i don koe how to make every1 like mi like wat coach has been naggin at mi...i can't get into their good boots n make sure they like mi, their "captain"...i m not a good actor...i guess i suck at all these...i suck at maintainin good relationships with plp...tts y all along..no 1 seem to be tolerant towards mi except weitien n xinyan...i guess i m jus too sucki to let plp be more interested in mi...i always say andrew is like a beehive attractin all e bees to him...then maybe in this case i m e pest tt every1 avoids...i feel stranded feel lonely here...no1 seems to be by mi side...like as if i m all alone goin for e war n e result is so clear...i'll be wiped out by mi enemi...
this is onli e 2nd trainin tt has officialli started...good news...e gurls team finalli hv more than 12 players meanin tt we stand a chance for comp. next yr...but bad news...i feel so far away fr e team...don feel like i belong to e team...jus now coach said to e guys...basketball is a team game...can nv survive with 1 person...then maybe..e team doesn't need mi...we hv 13 now...with or without mi it doesn't make a difference..cos without mi...maybe e team will be a better team n there will be 12 plp...jus nice for e competition...

m i redundant....no longer useful to u guys????

8:15 PM

i m sick..............................................................................
no mood for anythin...........................................................................
haizzzzz.................................................................................................................

went out to celebrate angela's bdae last nite...had dinner at swensens...
but felt quite out of place...didn't koe y...but overall...i think all of them had fun...n hope angela love it as well...
called weitien n xinyan...but they are both not free to entertain mi...haha...looks like i m e most borin person among them...no life at all...haha...damn sad...
mi mood dampen all of a sudden...

i wonder y...

9:50 PM

phew...e enrichment programme is finalli over..haha..feels relivin to mi now...tired over e 2 daes...but was quite bored since i didn't play or participate in e stuff...i was at e bball court for e whole 2 daes...haha...so loser rite...but it was quite fun after all..so not bad lo..haha...
yesterdae mornin there was 1 gp playin..it was e smooothest gp overall cos they hv no gps withdrawin or any rubbish la...haha...then mi class came back in e afternoon fr e hike...to play bball n netball...poos them...they all look so tired n shag...haha...so i told miself mus work harder for them since they r alreadi so tired...luckily..didn't realli disappoint them i hope..cos eventualli we won e 2 classes n became e gp champion of tt gp...haha...so damn lucky...
then todae there was more fun...haha...in e mornin leonard n brock had their game....but poor leonard lost to brock's classs by 1 pt...then in e afternoon...chingyu, yucheng, andrew, peisiang they all came back fr e hike...but they r e most unlucky gp also...cos it started rainin when they e game was about to start...eventualli they had to play in e rain...every1 was slippin down here n there...fallin everywhere...look so dangerous to mi...but it was rahter fun too..cos i watched all e "amazin" duels tt was rather fun i think...chingyu is still a joker as ever but still damn good even when e floor is slippery...yucheng is still so hardworkin in runnin aft e bball till he almost fell down...kaden n andrew's class emerge as e gp champion of e day eventualli...still so impressed by andrew's pass aft not watchin him play for so long...n he shockinly gave his opponent so "in ur face" 3 pt shots...haha...n of course chingyu as usual tried to spoil e rim...doin his pull-ups there...so "irritatin"...haha...
but seein him also make mi feel rather sad...cos it reminds mi tt his leavin us soon...though i m not veri close to him..but his existence sure make a diff. in us...so i've been feelin rahter melodramatic over this issue...it jus reminds mi tt his leavin soon...haizzz...i'll jus so so so so miss him aft he leaves.....

9:52 PM

weeeeeeeeeeeeeee
jus came back fr sentosa with e gurls...so tired...haha...n i look like some face with red paint on mi now...n its burnin...haha...
went to sentosa this mornin with e gurls in mi class...though b4 we reach sentosa e whole trip was so dilly dally tt i almost dozed off...but sentosa changed mi mood...haha...brings back loads of memories...so actualli i loved it alot...we went to e beach n started our tannin activities...haha...some went down to e sea while some of us remain on e beach to tan...actualli i don koe how i should describe it but overall e atmosphere was so superb...i love it so much...played some monkey games in e sea throwin balls around n hittin each other...haha...serene whacked on her face...jo slipped n fell into e sea...char kept throwin back e ball to e person beside her officialli became e dae's "monkey"...haha...sarah doesn't koe how to swim...appears to mi tt she has some phobia...but also seem to hv overcome it aft all e fun tt we had..haha...she practicalli didn't care much aft tt i guess...maybe had moral support fr "bean"...haha...n i sabo selina...made her e monkey by askin every1 not to catch e ball..haha....in e end serene had to hit e ball off with her head so tt she can be e monkey..haha..sorrie to e 2s....serene n selina..haha...
then we had a break...saw e street bball court jus round e corner...got so tempted to play i persuaded serene to go with mi...then we got quite freaked out n mi quite disappointed tt we couldn't play aft we saw this 2 "ahbengs" walkin into e court..but aft some while...i couldn't resist e temptation..so i jus went to ask e guys...haha...n....they allowed us to play...cool rite..haha...eventhough e court there was not as perfect or as good as e normal courts tt i normalli play in...but it is actualli e 1st court i've stepped in to ever since e exam period started...eventhough e court practicalli sucks due to sand all over makin e floor super slippery...i still love e feelin of being there...everybody there is there jus purely cos they love basketball...cos they wan to play basketball...every1 there is real...when i was playin with e guys there..eventhough they look so playful or even like bad boys...they reveal true emotions to their teammates on court...no1 seems to be hidin anythin...we didn't play for long with them...but i like their attitude n their passion towards bball..practicalli speakin...they look jus any normal street bballers on e street court...i haven realli met any such gps b4...nv reali played with them b4...todae was e 1st time i met these type of players....n i feel realli inspired by them...i thought i would be defeated by wat happened last nite..i thought mi courage of moral has all gone...but i m glad i went to sentosa todae...i m even more glad tt i met those bballers....tt might be e onli once i meet them at tt place..but it'll be veri memorable in mi life...lookin e way to play bball without any worries playin with e rhythm of e music...all of a sudden at tt moment...i onli thought tt playin bball is such fun...ty strangers tt i've met in sentosa on e bball court...i'll always remember tt we once met n were standin on e sandy court together b4....
unfortunateli good things always have to come to an end...charlene hv to leave home earli...n mi too...so we left earlier leavin e rest of them to stay in e beach...but i still had a lot of fun...
so...thanks plp...for organisin this trip...
theres quite alot of photos...but i guess i'll upload it onli like next week aft e canoein programme..haha...so look forward to e photos in mi photo album soon...

10:59 PM

haha...exams finalli officialli over...finally over...though right now there's sth goin on in mi head troublin mi heart...i've decided to make it a pt to put everythin behind for e time being...i guess when e time comes...e problem will be solved...no matter wat it is...i jus love everythin tts there now...i thank every1 around mi for makin things come true... :) all this while i seem to hv been in a semi-conscious state then now i don seem to koe wat i m doin...i often feel like i m standin on a wall tts forcin mi to make decisions...but neither way seems to be desirable...feels like no matter which side i jump to i'll either be drown to death of be eaten up by e crocodiles...but i m happi cos i hv mi friends around...at least it was u guys hu gave mi e courage to continue to walk on...eventhough it means riskin e chance of drownin...i love u guys so much..

next mondae n tuesdae we r havin some enrichment programme...e whole j1 gp is involve in all these activities...i missed all e games...haha...now i look so forward to it...cos i guess tts e onli thing to destress us now b4 we get all our results back...haha...so i guess lets all relax ourselves n enjoy in these 2 daes...

5:49 PM

phew..jus finished mi maths exam this aftnoon...like..FINALLI..haha..
but actualli i still hv 2 more papers next week..but at least for e time being...i m freed for like hmmmm...3 daes...haha...
finished 1/2 econs paper...n 1/2 lit. paper..haha...then maths n gp...
next week will be anther 1/2 econs n another 1/2 lit. paper...haizzz...

every1 don seem fine todae...every1 seems sad..todaes amirah's bdae...we went to bk n celebrate with her todae...
ehh..actualli..i wanted to blog todae ehh..angela...i koe u don wan mi to probe into it..but i can guess wats troublin u recently...she might be veri mean at words but actualli she don mean anythin...so don get too traumatized over her words k...enjoy urself..stay happi k.. :)

8:26 PM